5. Ottawa’s first mayor, Charlotte Whitton, lived with Margaret Grier for 25+ years in a relationship many have speculated was NOT platonic. What was the historical name for this living arrangement?
A Boston Marriage!
Special thanks for this entry is due to Morgan Mercury, a. k. a. Meghan Burns! I first learned about Charlotte and Margaret during Morgan’s queer walking tour of Ottawa in April 2024. Follow them on Instagram at @themorganmercury to find out when the tours are starting up again. Morgan also took a photograph of the only known picture of Margaret Grier while visiting the National Archives and graciously allowed me to reproduce it here. Thank you, Morgan!
A “Boston marriage” is a nontraditional domestic partnership between two unmarried women, usually middle- or upper-class. They were especially common in New England, which may have led to their name.¹ There was also a novel in 1886 called The Bostonians by Henry James about a relationship of this type. ² Although some historians hesitate to use the word “lesbian” to describe them (because it’s anachronistic to use a word that became popular in the 20th century to describe people living before that time period), there is ample evidence that Boston marriages were in many cases deeply romantic, and even sexual. Early scholarship on Boston marriages focused largely on the experiences of white women in academia, but more recent research has found examples of Black women establishing relationships of this type.³
One person who lived in a Boston marriage in the Canadian context is Charlotte Whitton, the first female mayor of Ottawa. Whitton lived for at least 25 years with Rose Margaret Grier. It is difficult to find information about Margaret, but it’s known that Margaret and Charlotte lived in the same residence while attending the University of Toronto, and that Margaret worked with the juvenile court system, as well as the Big Sister’s Association and the Girl Guides. Margaret was said to be “shy, fair, and quiet, with delicate features and a calm spirit.” Charlotte, who was four years younger, was the opposite—she was “unladylike,” even “mannish,” and was known for her violent temper as well as her keen ambition.⁴
Whitton and Grier were living together by 1922, and they moved to Ottawa together to advance Charlotte’s career. They lived together until Grier’s death at age 55, in 1947.
In 1950, Charlotte Whitton became a municipal official as part of the “Board of Control”, later becoming mayor in 1951. She was the first female mayor of Ottawa and the first female mayor of any major city in North America. Her tenure as mayor was marked with controversy—as the only woman on an all-male council, she doubtless rubbed people the wrong way simply by virtue of her gender. Although many of her views were not particularly radical for the era, her label as a “feminist” sounds odd to modern ears—Whitton believed that women who were married should not work, that divorce should not be made more accessible, and that emigration should be strictly limited to “solid, yeoman stock who could support themselves.” Poor people, Jewish people, and people of colour were not welcome. Her views reflected the prevailing “scientific” views at the time that British white people were simply genetically superior—but the ideas’ popularity doesn’t make them any less racist. At the same time, Whitton advocated for greater women’s inclusion in all levels of government, believed women should receive equal pay to men for the same work, and that, overall, women could do anything men can do, and do it better. She is often quoted as saying, “Whatever women do, they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Fortunately, this is not difficult.”⁵
Whitton was also known for her violent temper and acerbic wit when arguing with other council members. On one occasion, controller Paul Tardif made a comment that Whitton felt was a double-entendre meant to dig at Whitton’s unmarried status (an anecdote that hits a little differently when you know about Margaret!). In response, she flew into a rage, punching and kicking at Tardif. According to the Ottawa Citizen, “when asked following her fight with Tardif whether she was embarrassed by the national publicity caused by the incident, she replied, “Of course I don’t mind the publicity. I won the fight.”⁶
Charlotte Whitton, a middle-aged white woman, grins at the camera while pointing with her left hand to her name on a chalkboard, showing a winning number of votes. Her right hand is held out towards the camera, palm facing inward, with two fingers up in a “V” shape. National Gallery of Canada, NFB62-6785
The caption for this photo source says it’s a “v for victory” but given how spicy Whitton was known to be, I have to wonder if she was doing her own double-entendre here and making a rude gesture. (If you didn’t know, a "reversed victory hand” has long been considered equivalent to giving a middle finger in the U. K. and other Commonwealth countries.)
Despite her difficulties in getting along with her colleagues, Whitton won four mayoral elections and was a key feature of Ottawa politics for nearly fifteen years. She retired in 1972 after breaking her hip.
On her death in 1975, Charlotte Whitton willed 134 boxes of personal papers to the Library and Archives Canada, but instructed that one box remain closed until 1999. When opened, the box contained hundreds of letters written between Whitton and Grier that revealed a deep emotional and romantic relationship between the two. (It is important to note for accuracy that Whitton nor Grier use the term ‘lesbian’ in this correspondence, and Whitton did not ever publicly identify as a queer person.) The box also included letters written to Grier after her death, where Whitton expressed her deep regret that she had been away on business when Grier died.⁷ The two were reunited when Charlotte was buried next to Margaret, twenty-eight years after her life partner had died.
Further Learning:
Charlotte Whitton
For a fantastic collection of photos, see the National Gallery of Canada’s “photostory”.
James Powell. “Charlotte Whitton Becomes Mayor.” The Historical Society of Ottawa. No date.
Bruce Deachman. “First female mayor was also Ottawa’s most colourful.” Ottawa Citizen. Published January 26, 2019.
A gift for the keeners who read it all: here’s a link to a photograph I found of Charlotte Whitton dressed in a ridiculous duck costume for a “Springtime Party”.
Boston Marriages
Queer America, Season 1, Episodes 5 & 6: Romantic Friendships, Part 1 and 2. https://www.learningforjustice.org/podcasts/queer-america
Wendy L. Rouse. Public Faces, Secret Lives : A Queer History of the Women’s Suffrage Movement. New York: NYU Press, 2022.
Elizabeth Correia, “The Lives of Addie Brown and Rebecca Primus Told Through their Loving Letters.” Connecticut History.org. Published February 13, 2022.
Sources/Endnotes:
1. Anna Boyles. “Boston Marriages and the Queer History of Women’s Suffrage.” City of Boston Archives and Records Management. Last updated November 15, 22. https://www.boston.gov/news/boston-marriages-and-queer-history-womens-suffrage
2. Sienna Vittoria Asselin. “What is a ‘Boston Marriage’ And Where Did the Term Come From?” IN Magazine. Published October 18, 2022. https://inmagazine.ca/2022/10/what-is-a-boston-marriage-and-where-did-the-term-come-from/
3. Elizabeth Correia, “The Lives of Addie Brown and Rebecca Primus Told Through their Loving Letters.” Connecticut History.org. Published February 13, 2022. https://connecticuthistory.org/the-lives-of-addie-brown-and-rebecca-primus-told-through-their-loving-letters/
4. Derek Meade, “Charlotte loved Margaret.” Xtra Magazine. March 10, 1999. https://xtramagazine.com/power/charlotte-loved-margaret-48378
5. James Powell. “Charlotte Whitton Becomes Mayor.” The Historical Society of Ottawa. No date. https://www.historicalsocietyottawa.ca/publications/ottawa-stories/personalities-from-the-very-famous-to-the-lesser-known/charlotte-whitton-becomes-mayor
6. Bruce Deachman. “First female mayor was also Ottawa’s most colourful.” Ottawa Citizen. Published January 26, 2019. https://ottawacitizen.com/news/local-news/first-female-mayor-was-also-ottawas-most-colourful
7. Meade, 1999.
